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Thursday, August 27, 2009

The GBC Club - A Mutually Exclusive Culinary Extravaganza

So me and R were having a chat about food (transcript below) and we thought it'd be a good idea to have a GBC Party. What's that? What's a GBC Party you ask? Well read ahead:

m: fooooooood.. i could make green bean cassarole
R: there you go! i could make it tooo! we'll eat it together
m: we can have a GBC party!!!
R: yes!!!
m: holy shit, let's see if any of our friends want to join in..!
R: yea!
R: you see the big problem though, right?
m: oh, that's right.. we don't have friends.. .. most likely for just this reason..
m: ok.. well, let's go get our GBC on!
m: i'm gonna make mine Beautiful.. it's gonna kick the greenjeans off of yours!
R: whatever
m: ok.. here i go!
R: ok
R: don't forget to blog as you go along!
m: bah.. i'm concentrating on my extreeeeeemly good cooking right now.. oh my god, it's so creamy and beany and delicious!

R's kitchen is much better equipped for this sort of thing (cooking, that is), so I immediately knew I was at a disadvantage. She had tools in her arsenal that I could never dream to match -- things like pots, pans, forks, knives, and Milk -- yes, she has milk. So to make up for these minor shortcomings, I knew I had to pull out all the stops; I reached for my special ingredient... Love (sometimes known by the street names Old Miss, Special D, and Mrs. Dash Original Blend). After perfectly seasoning my sloppy mess of canned beans and soup, I set it in the oven at 350F for 25 minutes.. the final 5 minutes I added the rest of the fried onions and toasted them to a golden brown.

In the end it came out looking like .. well, I'll let you decide. But oh god, it sure was delicious.

Oh, the GBC. Or, as this time has shown, this is a study in "How Not To Screw Up a Simple Dish."

So far? M- 1 me- 0 

I've made this dish a handful of times. More than a handful maybe... but definitely at least a dozen. So, at this point I should really know what I'm doing, right?


So there I was, grabbing ingredients and really just working on auto-pilot. I don't do the canned green beans, so I pulled out the beans from the freezer. Okay, maybe I should have thawed it out first, but the extra liquid would have been negligible. Pour in the milk and soup. Fried onions, stir stir stir. Plop in the pan, into the oven. Add the rest of the onions, and heat some more.

So far... so good.

I got a huge helping and plunked down on the couch to catch the rest of the ballgame. After the first bite, something didn't seem right. I figured I just forgot how GBC was supposed to taste, so I kept eating. When I was done, that was it. No second helping, which is the standard for me. I waited for it to cool down some more and then put it in the fridge.

I tried it again the next day, only this time it was definitely off. "What is wrong with this?" I kept thinking, until it finally dawned on me.

The milk.

It wasn't expired, but it had been out Saturday night when people were making Halo-Halo. Maybe it was out all night. I didn't really do the sniff test when I opened the container, but then again, it didn't smelly funny when I poured it out.

Oh well. I think I'll leave the GBC cooking to M.

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